Marcus Trescothick has revealed that he has considered self-harm during his battle with a stress-related illness. The cricketer has had to leave two England tours because of the illness and returned home from the Champions League Twenty20 tournament in India last month, in which he was playing for Somerset.
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Excerpt: “I didn’t even know what clinical depression was the first time I tried to take my own life. I was 31 years old and by all appearances had a successful life. I was married and had a one year old child and had recently moved into a new home. I had a successful career in sales and marketing but had taken a career fork, moving into recruitment. Whilst I was enjoying my new role, I really hadn’t had enough time to excel at it, and I was accustomed to doing well at that to which I applied myself. I came from a large, loving family, so I could never say that I lacked support.
The uncertainty I was feeling about my career filled me with anxiety. I had continuous tension in my back that wouldn’t go away. I tried running and swimming in an effort to control it, but it only seemed to leave me momentarily. Worse than the physical symptoms were the dark thoughts that wouldn’t go away. I saw myself as a failure and my self-esteem plummeted. I would be wide awake at 3:30am, staring at the ceiling. I don’t know why I couldn’t reach out and tell someone how bad I was feeling – but I couldn’t. I felt that a man should be on top of his life and vainly tried to think positive thoughts – but nothing changed. The early morning waking would leave me drained and hardly capable of working a full day, but I forced myself to keep going and the cycle of decline continued.
Black Dog Ride began as one mans’ personal mission to reach out to as many Australians as possible and raise awareness of depression and try to break down the stigma still attached to mental illness.
For more: go to Black Dog Ride